Wednesday's Shall Now Be Poetry Day.

~Reflecting on things is always hard~

Especially if these things aren't always the best thing that you would like to remember. But seriously though, everyone needs to reflect. Reflecting on how something turned out, or how you felt, is only really the main thing that really helps people grow.

So instead of talking about my problems and situations, I am going to devote my Wednesdays to writing poetry again. I know, I haven't written poetry in such a long time. But I think it's about due.

Here's this blog's first Poem.

A Chance, A Meeting
By Ray Ceasar Almirante
I met you once before
In the arms of another
I met you again
Instead of thinking
I met you a third time
Being loved by my family
I met you by chance
But the time wasn't right 
I met you today
Yearning in my dreams
I met you at night
You still didn't see me
I met you once more 
Loving my older
I turned away
Lost in my pain
Now you want to meet me
But I can't bear to see
I'll meet you another time
When I can no longer feel

Okay... maybe not the best poem out there. Heck it might not even be a poem. But to me, it is a poem. Because poems don't have to rhyme or have structure. They could be free and loose.

So I bid you farewell, just for today at least

Also, I shall try to update this more often from now on...

"You don't need actions, when the words speak so much."

Live it, think it, and let it absorb.

Question: What do you guys believe is Poetry?

~Salazar De Almont

I hate this... I just really... Hate this...about myself.

~Something got triggered~

Here's the scoop. I was talking to  a guy friend the other day. It was all in good fun, and he was talking about somethings. Things such as how much he loves someone else. Now normally, someone would be totally fine with that, and encourage the person to go after that person. Instead, I felt my heart get heavy... and it was really weird. Like I had no idea why...

So further into the conversation.... I tried lightening the mood for myself. So I tell him, that at one point I admired him, and that I thought he was a cute, funny guy. Normally again, guys would either be flattered, or appalled at the thought. But instead he asks;

"So you had a crush on me?"

In the moment, I felt like I had to be honest, so I said yes. Then he asked me this...

"Do you still have a crush on me?"

I didn't really know what to say at the moment... but it made me think.
I was wondering why I am so comfortable around him, why I smile when he is around. Why did I feel better when he was around. Then I knew it... I still had a crush on him.

I then got confused, while I was still talking to him... cause I thought I was crushing on some other guy. I guess I got over it already. Mainly because he was straight, and he was never interested in me that way. But he is still my friend, at least I hope he is...

Anyways... I started thinking, 'wow, how the heck do I still have a crush on him!' Then everything just snowballed from there.

My mind thought of things that made no sense to me... Like all the past crushes I had crushes on, I noticed something. They either dated my sister, were mean to me, or had their eyes on someone in my family!

Most of the time when they weren't involved with family members, they were totally mean to me. As in they treated me like dirt!

Those involved with my family, they are already taken... so that was out of the question...

But thing is, I would always just brush these feeling off... Like they were nothing... For some reason though... I feel really horrible about myself.

I'm a brother first, a cousin second, a friend third! I don't want to have these feelings for people who have their hearts on someone I know...

So why... why do I have these feelings? Why does my heart hurt everytime I see them with someone I care about...
Someone please answer me... I don't think I could handle thing like this on my own.

"When times seem darkest, and your heart feels like it's in millions of pieces, then just pick up the pieces, and give them to someone else." - Annonymous

Think it, Live it. Let it absorb.

Question: Why do fools fall in love?

~Salazar De Almont

Am I Being Too Ambitious?

~Once I've decided something... I try to go for it.~

Sorry I haven't really updated recently people. Thanks for reading who ever keeps track of this blog! You guys are amazing!

So let me bring you folks up to date. Remember near the end of my last post, I had told you guys that I recently had joined the College Newspaper? Well I have an interesting story to share with you guys about it.

When I went to the college newspaper committee meeting, I didn't expect to be assigned anything off the bat, or to pitch ideas. I had asked to see a copy of the paper, to see how it was like. I notice they didn't have anything interactive. So I propose the idea for a riddles and puzzles section. They liked it and said I could do it. So, I had worked hard for three days, preparing this part. Then after I send in my rough copy, later that day, I get an email, saying it can't be used, it's too big... I told them I could resize it, but they say in the nicest way possible "can you find something else to write about?".

Naturally I would be mad, but I calmed down, and tried to look for something happening at college on Friday night, that I could possibly cover. But since this is a suitcase school, and most people go home on weekends... the pump was dry. Which made me frustrated.

It was that day that someone I believe was sent to help me in the time of need. I don't really care who sent me this person, I'm just glad they did. This person was Ysabel. After talking to her about my day, and situation, she proposed to me to go the Sock Hop this club was holding. I agreed, for this reason... I had nothing else to lose.

When I get there, I realized that it is the perfect opportunity to write something. Something that no one really knew about! So I spent all that night coming up with my article. Then sent in the rough draft to the editor.

Later they tell me to take things out, and make it less like a story/play-by-play, and more into an article. I have no idea what that means. But I'll try.

In the midst of all this fiasco, I got to thinking.

"wow, there really isn't a place for people to just submit the funny, clever, thoughtful, entertaining stuff."

Then, after talking to my friend, Amy, she said this.

"If they don't want your ideas, take them elsewhere."

So that's what I'm in the process right now... I've decided to make a general interest magazine for the college, or even a student run fun website. Maybe even both?

I already found a teacher willing to be an advisor, as long as I provide a solid presentation for this.  I have alot of research, time, and effort needed ahead of me.

But I'm going to it, this isn't going to be one of those times, I want to start something, and don't. No I'm determined. I really want this to happen!

I have proclaimed my idea to many other people, some of them are willing to help, others thought it would be a great idea for the college. So I'm reassured that this isn't just a crazy idea.

The only problem is, I need alot of people, about 10 or so, to help, because these main ten people, will help me put it together. If I could turn this into a club, get more members, then that would make this dream much more easier.

So if you're From my college which is RCNJ, or if you know someone going there or is here, then tell them about my idea! Tell them! contact me at my e-mail as well.

Well I hope I have luck on my side for now...
I'm going to need it.

"Nothing is Impossible, In fact the word itself has the words I'm Possible" -Audrey Hepburn.

Live it, think it, or let it absorb...

Question: "Do you think I'm being to Ambitious for a freshmen?"

Peace people,
~Salazar De Almont.

*Sigh* So This is What It's Like to Be Stood Up and in College...

~I now know the feeling~

So, Today was a very, very eventful day. I went back to my World Civ I, class. I was expecting today, which was a lecture day, to be simple. Yet again, I was in for a surprise. Apparently my college life has been full of surprises. Me no likey.

The Professor presented the information on a powerpoint. Which I was totally fine with. But then she would only spend like 30 seconds to a minute on each slide! I had learned my first college lesson. If you are going to take notes, either take notes quickly, or just continue writing and pay attention to what the professor is saying. I felt like I never had time to look up and see the power point. I was constantly writing for about 1 hour and a half. Also the information I learnt that day, well there was so much! I felt like my brain was going to collapse on itself.

But the class was very enjoyable. My professor already likes me as a student. YAY POINTS!
I think its because I asked alot of questions about what she was saying. I mean I did the reading, but some of the things she was talking about wasn't in it. So curiosity got the better of me and I started asking questions. I probably annoyed some people, because I made her talk more. But I don't care, I'm here to learn things and broaden my horizons!

Another surprise today, was I got a text message from someone. I don't really remember who it was from, but they told me to meet them at the commuters lounge. So I go there, and I met some new people. Talked with some people, yada yada. I waited for hours there, and saw people come and go. At about 10:30 I realized I just got stood up. By someone I don't remember who! Oh if you're wondering "why doesn't he just check his inbox?" That was a wonderful idea, but I cleared it out after getting their message. *sigh*

So yeah, two surprises on the same day! Wait there's more!

I kind of got somewhat pissed today as well. Well people were talking about something. These people then bring up someone I know, doing something that impacted something. So I naturally ask what happened. Guess what they respond.

"Oh, don't worry about it, you're too young."

What the heck? Why am I always too young? When will I be old enough to know things? I know people like how I'm all innocent and what not, but c'mon, I don't want to be ignorant about everything. I sound so naive about everything alot of time. People think thats cute, but I think it makes me feel stupid. I want to be informed! I don't think I'm that young.

But I guess it's because I still have the mentality of a child. I don't respond well to some things.

Hahaha, so I guess its kind of my fault.

Oh well. So today's review:

• I learned how fast lectures go..
• I got stood up by someone unknown.
• I'm still too young to know anything.

Yup! That's a little snippet of my life for today.

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living wears you out." ~ Anton Chekhov

Think about it, Live it, or Let it Absorb.

Question: "How is it possible for people to get right back up when they fall?"

Alright! Peace people,

~Salazar De Almont

P.S. I also happened to join my college newspaper. I'm doing the puzzles/riddles section.

I Now Know Why College Students are BROKE! AHHH!

~Money gets spent everywhere~

Today, I decided to go shopping for my art supplies for my fundamentals of drawing class. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

 I hadn't realized that my Art professor was being so specific with what to buy on the list, but when I was there. I couldn't find any of the things I needed right away. By the by, I went to a store called Pearl Paint. First things I needed on the list were 3 of the four sketchbooks. Those had to be 18" x 24" one spiral and one not, 100 pages, medium weight, and all purpose paper. When my sister, Macky, and I had found them, they were $20 and up. That is pretty cheap, but for both together that would be $40 something. And neither of them were spirals. I just couldn't find a spiral that had over 100 sheets.

Then we went to look for the pens, which I was able to find easily. After came the Vine Charcoal, which Masay, my sister's friend, told me I could take some of hers. Then I went to find the pastels, for they were in the same aisle. That was such a pain, because I needed 6 certain colors, but none of the boxes had said what colors were in them. Also, the single pastels that you could buy, didn't have my colors. So I ended up buying a 24 pastel one.

The rest of  my excursion around the store was well, interesting. Things were just organized in things I was not used to. Eventually I did find everything. But the things that were such a pain to find where these.

• Paint Brushes (#2 or #8 and 1" flat)
• 100 page, all purpose paper, Sketchbooks.
• Pastels( 6 hues)
• White Soft Chalk

In the end, everything cost a little over $120.00, with the student discount. But if I think about it, that is not that much. This is my first exposure to expenses. Shows what I knew. I mean I knew if you took a science/medical/business major, your books would be mad expensive. My books were not all that expensive. In fact, my books equaled the amount for my art supplies.

Here's a lesson I learned. You should always try to find things yourself, and if you can't ask, but don't get what they tell you to buy, unless it's absolutely last resort. Why? Employees generally point you to the most expensive things, despite there being cheaper ones.

I do know however, if I went somewhere else, it would have been more expensive. Art supplies are generally expensive in general. I think I got off easy, and I bought a ton of stuff.

*sigh* Alas, college students are broke because professors tell us to buy too many things. Does it look like we are made of money?

"If you want to feel rich, just count the things that you have that money can't buy" - Ancient Proverb


Think about it, live it, or let it absorb.

Question: Why are there so many people who don't know the value of money?

Have a lot of fun people, especially those who don't have freedom from school anymore...*like me*
~Salazar De Almont

Saturday is Memory Days

~Welcome to the Past of My Mind~

So, I have decided, as of right now and beyond, that every Saturday will be a day of remembering the past. The past is a tool for learning and moving foward. Not that I'm saying you should cling to the past, no, but you should hold on to ones that really made a difference. The memories that keep you happy, and the times that keep you sane, especially when things get tough.

Let us venture into my mind then. I shall go into my earliest memory! Um... let's see what is one thing that really changed my life at that time.

Ah Here we go!

I was about three years old. My family lived in a apartment, somewhere. There was a really big staircase that led to our apartment. Now at this time I am really frightful of heights. So I dreaded going up and down these stairs. Sometimes I would ask my mom or dad to pick me up and carry me up the stairs. Anyways, one day, my mom was making pancakes. I remember because the whole kitchen smelled like baking stuff and maple syrup. It was early in the morning, I think... So while my mom was cooking, and my sister's and I were waiting at the table, she wanted one of us to check if there was any mail yet. Actually she told my elder sister Ariane. But Ariane didn't want to go, so she whispered to me to go check.

Now, I knew I was afraid of the stairs, but at that time I adored my sister. I would do anything she told me. So I run to the door and was about to go down the stairs. After that, I just remember loud thumping noises, and pain. Apparently, from what I've heard from my family, I had tripped or something and fell down that 30 step staircase.

I remember waking up, my head was hurting and and started crying. My mom came, after hearing me, and started comforting me. I started feeling better, and my mom then wanted to take picture to celebrate something. Don't really remember what for however. I do remember however, my sisters Ling and Ariane laughing when they saw me. I thought 'maybe they just saw something funny.' So we took the pictures, while doing poses and what not. Then I felt like I had to use the bathroom, then, I saw what was so funny. I saw a big, brown, bruise in between my eyes. In other words on my bridge of my nose. It was huge! I'm not even joking. So I scream and start crying, asking what the heck happened.

Then my family told me what had happend. My mom too this day doesn't remember it though, and neither does anyone else.

That's the funny thing about memories. Sometimes you distort them to seem either more dramatic or pleasing. Sometimes, you might be the only one that remembers them. Why I remember this one, I don't really know.

However I like this memory, because it destroyed my feeling that I could do anything when I was younger. It made me more aware of dangers and harm. Also told me not to do something for someone else when a person didn't ask you to do it.

hahahaha

Memories, they play funny tricks on you. But you got to learn to embrace them. Learn from them, but don't just toss them aside.

"Live a lot, Love many, Laugh much."

Think about it, live it, or let it absorb.

 Question: Why do our memories change?

~Disconnecting from the Past~
Salazar De Almont

Let's Learn to change the Layout of a Blog?

~Wowee~

Okay, so I realized that my blog isn't the most interesting thing to look at. So I have decided to try to learn how do redesign or change the layout of a blog. Now, I know it isn't going to be the most easiest thing to do. After all, I decided to use the Photoshop way. So it's going to be a long, excruciating, complicated process.

Someday, it will be a very interesting looking blog. But for the mean time, it is going to looking simple and clean. Hey, maybe "Simple and Clean" could be my theme song for the blog. Maybe...

So I had forgotten to eat today. I was just so busy with classes and what not, it didn't really seem that important. Yeah, so I was being really stupid. But I was planning to eat, don't get me wrong. But when I had came to the places to eat at my college, everything, and I mean everything, was closed for the moment. They were planning to re-open for Late Night Dinning. But I'm trying to stay away from that. Don't want to get the freshmen 15. I'm already somewhat chubby, I don't want to get even bigger!

Speaking of College, I still haven't found time to work on my stories at all. Oh yeah, I haven't really told you about that. I like to write stories. They are mostly found on Deviant Art or Fictionpress, but I only have a few readers. However, the people who have read some of the chapters, really liked them. I'm hoping one day, I will have alot of readers. But I'm going to have to work hard at that.

Back to the layout of a blog. Does anybody have any good sites that will teach you how to change and customize a layout for one? If you do, please leave me a remark/comment and/or share what you know.

I'm really new at this stuff. So please help people!

"You really got to give people a chance, who knows, they could possibly be your best friend one day."

Think about it, live it, or let it absorb.

Question: How can someone be wrong, if everyone thinks they might be right?

Take care Folks~
Salazar De Almont

So Let's Dwell on the Surface of the Water...

~HIYA~

So today, was my official real first day of class(es) at my college. Let me say, I was scared to death!

Now there are four reasons for that. Shall I list them all?

~I found out I may be the only freshmen in that History class.
~When I walked in, I was stared at.
~I asked a really embarassing question that pointed out my freshmeness.
~I found out that I bought a book I didn't need!

I absolutely saw no one recognizable, except one girl, who was my sisters friend. But she was with a friend already.

There was a bright side however. My teacher is nice. She allows us, the students, to call her by her first name. Relief on my part if you ask me... I couldn't figure out how to pronounce her last name. Also I met a girl named Megan. She was nice to me. Walked with her for a while too. It was ok. She made me feel less intimidated.

But seriously folks, there weren't many, if any, freshmen at that history class.

Oh well. Now I have some alone time to myself. I don't really know what I should do. That's another thing I figured at college. You really got to keep yourself busy with something. If not you might find yourself bored, like me! hahahahahaha

Anyways, I got to learn to find people. This is really getting out of my comfort zone however. Think I can manage?

"If you're confused about something, be confident with your confusion and authentic with your questions. Don't be arrogant because no one on this planet knows everything." - Angela Marie Tayco

Think about it, live it, or let it absorb.

Question: "Should you help others conquer their fears first then your own?"

Alright, Thanks for Reading!
~Salazar De Almont

Grand Opening! Let's Have Some Opening Remarks?

~Hello Folks~

Welcome to my blog. I know it doesn't seem like the most interesting place to be at the moment. But I hope one day it is. At least I want it to be popular one day.

This blog is going to be filled with stories. Stories about memories from the past, present, or thoughts of whats to come. I want to write things where people can relate to and feel like they know they aren't alone in this world. Now, I know many people won't bother coming here to read my words, but if someone does and it can change their life... Then that would make me happy. I would think that life would be really great then.

So in honor of this first entry, I'm going to tell alittle about myself.

I'm a guy, an Asian guy, Filipino to be exact. I'm not your typical guy however. I don't like sports, cars, or those sort of things. I believe there is good in everyone, and I try to find it no matter what. No one is completely evil. However, I do believe that if you give me a reason to not believe or trust you anymore, then I don't. Basically, I "love" everyone, till they show me otherwise.

There will be many times that people, including myself, just need to vent or talk to someone. I'm hoping this will be a good place for people looking for help. I want to show that people are not alone in this world, that everyone faces problems similar. No one should walk the path of loneliness.

So if you have something to say about my entry, or if you just want to ask a question leave a comment or something. I'm willing to listen and give feedback.

Also, I think you could be anonymous if you want.... I'm not entirely sure. But I will not like hunt you down or anything like that.

So as a leaving remark, I will always leave words of wisdom and a question for you to ponder.

"No one can do everything by themselves, but everyone can do something. If that something helps at least one person, then that means change can happen." - Kat McGee

Just think about it, or let it absorb.

Question: "Why are somethings in the world considered taboo topics to talk about?"

Thanks for Reading and Welcome~
Salazar De Almont